April 1.
I’d like to say that this day is a normal, regular, go about my business day, but it is not. In some ways it is a trigger.
You never know what you might see on social media, and you never know someone’s story, so this is a simple reminder that a pregnancy meme or pregnancy “joke” is actually no joke at all.
Sam and I have experienced loss. We’ve known heartbreak and we’ve met devastation.
It wasn’t all that long ago I thought I was really sick. So sick I canceled my classes, I got back into pajamas and tried to go back to bed.
I was uncomfortable and miserable. I was in and out of the bathroom. I finally broke down and called my dad. Could he deliver some crackers or sprite? He did. He suggested I call Sam.
I called Sam and explained that I really couldn’t function normally. I was laying in the bathroom in tears. He came home immediately.
He convinced me we needed to get to the doctor. I was convinced that Mother Nature was a huge jerk and I had the flu.
Oh, how I wished that were true.
We thought we couldn’t get pregnant. Sam was told after years of military injuries that it just wasn’t possible. I was convinced we were a family of four.
That ER visit told us two things. One, we were pregnant and two, we miscarried.
So, if you enjoy those “shock factor” moments, making people laugh, being a jokester, please be cautious of the jokes you share or pranks you pull.
We made it through a devastating time. We figured we had our chance and the universe had other plans. I thought I was too old to start again with a baby. I grieved. I cried.
And the universe had another plan. God heard our prayers and kept loving us, even when we might have been unlovable. So many prayed for us and loved us.
We found out we were pregnant again.
After hearing a provider tell us “you probably won’t make it through this pregnancy,” and to “possibly prepare for another miscarriage,” we found new doctors to work with us and give us hope.
I think you may know the rest of the story…
So, be cautious with your April fooling. Infertility, miscarriage, and pregnancy loss is certainly no joke.
Sending love to those of you who have also experienced this loss. ❤️