Lately I have felt all over the place. When I am home after a day of work I feel exhausted and out of it. I don’t really feel home and when I am here I feel like I am going through the motions.
When I am at work I am trying to prioritize and stay on task. There is a lot to complete when you manage a federal grant. I am reading, writing, organizing, asking questions, and trying to keep my head above water.
I think at times we become consumed with everyday things that we really forget to be “here,” or present, in the moment if you will.
Because I have been so worn down I have dozed off in conversations at home, picked up fast food instead of cooking, piled laundry because I don’t have time during the week to wash, and spent a weekend playing catch-up.
My goal is to be here, present when I need to be and focused on all the good. My hope is to be present and enjoy the little moments because my kids are growing up too fast.
I want to be here. Really be myself, be comfortable with my imperfections and be aware that I cannot do it all. Maybe that’s a bit of Mom guilt, caregiver talk, or just an assumption some of us have; we can do all the things no matter what.
Being here (or there) is so important. Show up for your family, your kids, friends colleagues and listen.
I know I need to be better at that.
