Hello dear readers. It is time to dust the cobwebs off and get to writing again. If you have missed us, we’ve been a little busy…we added our precious Edward Oliver James (we call him Oliver) to our family on May 5. Since then, we’ve had hospital stays, adjustments to the home and schedule, and days filled with lots of baby cuddles and love.
This morning, as I type, I am the only one up…yep, even with a six week old, I am the only one awake. I have a cup of coffee, and some time to reflect. What a perfect day, today is Father’s Day.
And just like any other holiday or notable day, it may not be easy for some. I understand that. There might be folks out there missing their dad, wishing for a better relationship with their dad, and there might be some separated from their dad for whatever reason.
And for some men, this day is hard because they do not have a child of their own, or because they do not have a good relationship with their father. If you have been in a father-type role, I salute you. It is no easy task. If you have been a role model, positive influence, or one who simply cares, you are making an impact. Think about this: there are many roles that some men have in the lives of others…brothers, uncles, grandfathers, mentors, teachers, coaches, cheerleaders, significant others, friends of friends, and many more that I am probably missing, but my point is this: they do the work to make sure that there are kids/young adults/adults who have a dad in their life. How awesome is that?
I think of my own dad, who in my honest opinion, is the best. Hands down. There’s not another like him (although there might be some close seconds). In the past few months, he has stepped up for our family when we (Sam and me) simply couldn’t be there to pick someone up, grab groceries, cook a meal, go to a softball game, or help with homework. I watched from the sidelines of a hospital room. He came to the hospital, after getting up early to run errands, feed dogs, and take care of any other tasks he may have in a day. He came to have lunch with me, keep me company (and help me keep my sanity), and he always made sure that the kids were alright. He went to softball games with my mom, kept me up to date on the score, Kirsten’s hits/defensive plays, and sometimes he even called during a game.
In my 39 years, my dad has been a constant for me. Through many ups and downs in my life he has been the one, the rock, the friend I needed when I didn’t think I had a friend at all. The cheerleader silently cheering from the back of a crowd (or room), he was always there: either with me or always on my mind and in my heart. When I defended my thesis, he was there. When I went through a divorce, he was there. When I was hospitalized (multiple times), he was there. If I ever need a shoulder to cry on, he is there.
I know I am lucky to have him around (and close by) to help in a pinch, but I am more grateful each day for the moments that my family have with him. Just yesterday he came to help Sam with a task outside. He came in to see the kids, talked with them, and quietly went to work. He does things like that…quietly. He’s not one to brag or boast. He’s not one to shout or scream. He’s honest, funny, kind, caring, loving, and he’s the best dad a girl could ever have. He’s also the best grandpa any kid could ever have too. Just ask mine.
And for that type of role model to almost be replicated, well, that’s something. My kids are lucky. Not only do they have my dad (rockstar grandpa), but they have their dad, Jason, who works hard for them day in and day out, gives them a loving home full of laughter and kindness. They have their grandpa Sam (and how lucky are my kids to have two grandpas close by?!), another guy they can depend on. In addition to uncles near and far, they have some really great role models in their lives, men who would go above and beyond for them, men who love them.
And they have some men who love them like their own. I found a saying (from a picture on Facebook) that reads, “not step, not half, just family.”
When things got serious I remember telling Sam that we (the kids and me) were a package deal. You get all three of us. He was more than okay with that, in fact, he was excited. I began to see that with each day, each moment, he began to love them like his own.
Fast forward to today…
After a struggle to have a baby and miscarriage, we have our rainbow baby. Baby makes three sweet kiddos in our home. With the two bigs (oldest, big sister, big brother, siblings, big kids–I have all sorts of nicknames for them), and Oliver our family is complete. I see Sam grow in his role and he shines. He loves all three of these kiddos so much. He works hard to provide for them. Sam goes above and beyond: from water balloon fights, homework nights, early morning feedings, he’s always ready to help and listen.
Some may call it a “bonus dad” or “bonus family.” If we look at it as a bonus, then yes, my kids hit
I’m reminded of Brad Paisley song lyrics around Father’s Day from the song “He Didn’t Have To Be.” They go something like this…
“And then all of a sudden it seemed so strange to me/
How we went from something’s missing to a family.”
Sam was our missing link. I didn’t want to realize it at the time (because, grad school). But, we became a family, a different kind of family when he came into our lives.
So on this day, we celebrate dads. The ones who give so much of their heart and soul to their families, the ones who go out of their way to be there for others, the ones who step up, and the ones who love no matter what. This day (and every day) is for you.
