Joy

Sometimes I wake up and feel completely drained. Lately, that is a typical feeling. Being pregnant at 39 and trying to keep up with the kids, Sam, and the house can be exhausting. Monitoring my blood pressure daily can make me on edge (odd, right?) and worried.

Yesterday was one of those days. I woke up tired. Tired from being tired. Tired from running errands, tired from sore, swollen feet. Just flat out tired.

And then there was a softball game.

I loaded up our car with my “softball mom bag.” If you don’t know what that is or if you don’t have one (fellow softball moms), that is a bag with snacks, drinks, medicine (Tylenol, band aids, neosporin, hair ties, etc.), blankets, hats, gloves, and maybe a book.

I gathered things for Caden as we would be leaving after his school pick up, and we headed out.

Tired. I was tired driving. I honestly did not feel like sitting outside at the game, but we were prepared for the weather.

Once we arrived in Waltonville, I found a place to park, but then realized I could park in the outfield (win), so I moved my car. Chatting with my parents, and about my day, I realized that I was even more tired than I thought.

The game started, we were comfy in the car, and then when the Lions were up to bat the most amazing thing happened.

Kirsten hit her first high school home run.

I squealed from my car, dropped my phone trying to take a picture, pumped my fists, scared Caden, and cried.

Joy.

Happiness. Great pleasure. Delight. Excitement. Tears.

All of those things. A home run brought me joy.

For a mom who often wonders “have I given you what you needed?” and “did you get enough to eat at lunch?” and of course “are you feeling alright?” I often snap when I should be sensitive and caring. Pregnancy hormones are no joke.

I get tired easily when I should want to stay up and chat with you as much as I can before bed. Sometimes I think you may have a bad attitude, but really we are both just tired and worn out.

Sometimes there are days where I completely miss it. I feel lost and confused and like I do not know what to do. (because, parenting…am I right?) Sometimes there are days where I wish you did not have to grow up, go off to college and move away. I wish you were little again.

And yesterday, in that moment of joy, I was reminded of all the hitting lessons, the many summers of softball, travel softball, and ups and downs that have come with the different teams…and I was so happy I cried.

Keep those moments of joy close, friends. They may get you through a long day. They may make you cry. They may put a smile on your face.

I am forever your biggest fan and cheerleader, kids. I hope you always know that. <3