Baby steps for some things in life—am I right? Taking small steps instead of giant leaps can be a good thing. If you suffer from anxiety, or feel anxiety build up then you know that some days that is like the heaviest invisible weight on your chest. You can’t wave a magic wand and it disappears, you can’t press the giant red easy button either. I think you can manage anxiety though.
Sam suffers from anxiety more than he’d like. He’s even had panic attacks from time to time. I’ve noticed when there are really big weeks with a lot going on at home or work that it seems to creep in from time to time. Anxiety is annoying, something that’s always sticking around, so some small steps to manage it seems to help out Sam, as well as the rest of our household.
I noticed around the 4th of July that Sam was having some anxiety–he was restless and really dreading the holiday. Not because of being off work or spending time with family and friends, but because of the fireworks. We’ve had two not-so-great 4th of July experiences, and we made an executive decision this year to stay home. I thought of taking some small steps toward some type of peace—because around our house the 4th actually began on the 1st and ended around the 6th or 7th, when all the fireworks finally stopped.
Incorporating a routine is very important. This helps in so many ways, it is almost like a safety net, a safety blanket. This keeps us balanced and stable. Work hours bring on anxiety for Sam, and coming home to decompress can be a challenge. There were times, and there still are times when Sam may seem preoccupied or mentally, physically, and emotionally drained. Home is a safe place. Having a routine for the morning and the evening helps maintain that idea of safety. Sure, we have nights where we change dinner plans at the last minute, or we have nights where we might do something a little different (ice cream for dinner, anyone), but this helps us manage our time. We have dinner, we clean up, we watch TV or relax. We have conversations and we also prep the night before for the next day.
Our morning routine involves a lot of coffee. We pack lunches, watch a little news (let’s be real, that doesn’t even happen every morning), and then we have the routine for the kids and the dogs. Some mornings are chaotic, but it is a good way to start the day, in the routine, in the safe space of the home.
Treating yourself can be helpful too—you aren’t buying the most expensive thing for yourself, but you are rewarding yourself with something that may make you feel good or safe in that moment. Think of it as wearing your favorite shirt to work, taking one of your favorite meals for lunch, giving yourself some time on the couch with Netflix—no matter how small the guesture is, chances are that your mind, body, and perhaps even the family, will thank you for the time and attention you are giving yourself.
I did go out and buy a few treats. I found some essential oil that Sam can keep with him—using it as necessary when he feels stressed or a little overwhelmed. Is he a fan? Well, when I showed him, he was not that impressed, but he did leave with this in his pant pocket today. Bath and Body Aromatherapy Essential Oil Rollerball
I also found some pillow mist that we used to relax and calm ourselves before bed. Now, Sam couldn’t smell it last night, and I don’t honestly know if this was helpful or not, but it is the thought that counts. Sleep can be really hard to come by in our home. We did try it, and it smells amazing. You may like it too Pillow Mist from Bath and Body Works
We’ve tried tea before bed…calming tea—and Sam is not a hot tea drinker—-but Lemon Balm has been wonderful. I drink a cup of this at least 2 or 3 times a week. I feel like I should buy it in bulk at times. Lemon Balm Tea
Now that some treats are out of the way, we also find that just talking can help. Sometimes people don’t really understand the struggle. They may not read the blog, they may not know, and it is not always visible (remember, invisible wounds)—but our family is still our family and our friends are still our friends. There’s a bond between Sam and I, a trust that took a very long time for him to develop, and no matter what he is going through he always knows he can share that, we can talk about it, and we can work through it. It is hard at times, because we have to remember to remove a lot of negativity from our lives, but that can prevent growing and recovery.
Negativity is hard to deal with, and hard to remove completely (especially if you are in an environment where most people thrive on being negative and making you miserable)—but we learn to push through and move that negative $&#^ aside. Try it–remove excess negativity from your life, and you’ll find that you might be happy, relived, and a little less stressed.
Pushing yourself to work—but does work help in anxiety? For Sam, I am going to say no—there are certain aspects of his job that are demanding mentally, physically, and emotionally, so there’s always a chance for anxiety. However, he makes it through the work days and when it is 4:30 he knows that he’s heading to that safe space. Work can be a struggle. There might be a trigger, there might be an upsetting comment, story, whatnot, but work shouldn’t be a punishment—did you catch that? Work should not be a punishment but rather a reward. Showing up, doing what you are suppose to do, getting through the day—HELLO! Victory!
So, small steps—those are helpful. Taking things in stride, finding what works for you and what doesn’t work for you, that is helpful. Knowing your limits. Helpful. It all comes down to balance, and doing what can ease the stress or anxiety. These may not work for everyone, but they work for us, and sometimes they don’t—sometimes we learn what works best and what doesn’t work best.