The Day I Learned My Husband Went to Hell and Back 

I’m not sure one can ever be prepared to hear a war story. I’ve been told that listening to a Veteran share their experiences from the military shows trust—something that can be hard for some service members. I’ve also been told some “tall tales” about downtime between missions, shenanigans that Veterans could only experience on a deployment.

Then there’s the moment when you hear and read about a company experiencing pure hell. Loss of lives, limbs, sleep deprivation, and fear. Fear of never wanting to be on a mission again. Fear of wondering who’s blood is on you–is it your own, a buddy, or the enemy? I’ve been moved to tears upon hearing a war story, and when my husband told me about a particular mission, that was no different.

I realized, this was not the first time he went to hell and back.

The 454th Transportation Company had some trouble on the road and faced danger on every turn, stretch, and mission it seemed. Insurgents planted roadside bombs and the convoy ended up being separated. Members of the company were blown up, separated, and hospitalized.

It was when I read and heard this story that I realized Sam is very lucky to be alive.

I kept thinking about that over and over and I was just overwhelmed that he was here, with us, with me, for his family, his friends, and to serve other Veterans.

When you get a chance to listen to a Veteran tell a war story, listen carefully and listen without judgment. You never know if the story they are sharing is something that they need to say. It took Sam a very long time to open up about deployment. I don’t know every single detail of missions or both tours in Iraq–but I know the second tour in Iraq was difficult. The company went through a lot.

Hearing these types of stories not only shows the bravery that these men and women had each and every day they were on mission. They were sleep deprived, they were hungry. They had a bond that few civilians can understand. Hearing stories like these also anger me–was their equipment safe? Were the trucks in good shape? What about needing a break after being blown up? Most of the members of some companies were shot at, blown up, and went right back out on missions. With little rest, and hardly any sleep. What kind of working condition is that?

After hearing some of these stories, I also realize that I become annoyed when people say, “what’s wrong with him? Why does he need that dog? He has his arms and legs.” They just don’t understand, and perhaps they never will, but in my heart, head, and gut, I know that he’s experienced things that no human should really ever have to endure. So instead of being annoyed, I choose to be educated and supportive. One should always be kind because we never really know what type of battle someone is facing.

My husband has been to hell and back–and I know there are other Veterans out there who have as well. We need to work hard to honor and remember these stories because stories matter. The Veteran’s voice matters.

Sam during some of his deployments. Enjoying a cup of tea, and showing his smile. These seem like “good” times or “calm” times, despite the chaos that surrounded him.