I use to wake up on Monday and think, “where did the weekend go?” or “how is it Monday already?” But, now that is different.
I actually look forward to Monday.
I know, I know…I have often wondered why in the world Monday has now become one of my favorite days (Friday is the other, incase you were wondering).
I’ve mentioned before how I look forward to Monday because it is writing group day…https://walkingwithmemphis.com/2017/04/monday-is-writing-group-day/
Today marks Week 6 of our Creative Writing Group for Veterans. How have we gone through six weeks already?
I’ve noticed some “stuff” throughout the group—no matter what happens (with the prompt or conversation), every group the Veterans share other stories. While they might tie in with our writing prompt for the week (for example what are your fears and joys), there’s usually a small story that makes its way into our conversation about time in the military.
I love that.
Last week our group wrote about fears and joys (this could be related to the military or civilian life). Some of the group members listed things they feared: being a KIA, fear of getting captured, fear of failing other soldiers, various places in Vietnam or Iraq, fear of getting lost or traveling alone, even some recounted living in constant fear…
One thing I noticed is that no one is fearful of writing anymore. Talk about making a teacher’s heart want to burst. The Veterans love getting the prompt, and while they cringe if there’s going to be poetry, they generally enjoy the writing prompts, and they also comment they feel “challenged” because for some they are really stepping out of a comfort zone.
Every group member shares. We also tell the members they do not have to share their writing, but they do.
I can’t find the words to let you all know how important, how big that is for these Veterans.
The group wrote about big moments in their life that changed them–either from the military or civilian life, and some keywords that came up were anger, patience, courage, motherhood, core values, disrespect, fear, leadership…
You guys, the group even likes making a cluster map of words (squeee!).
Sometimes the topics may bring about memories that the Veterans would have never thought about. Sometimes the topics can bring up bad and good memories. And sometimes the topics challenge me, and require me to hold back tears (until I get to my car).
I wrote about fear last week with the group. My fears are a little different as a military spouse, so I thought it would be interesting to share them with what I worry about, what I fear, and what challenges me.
That was really, really difficult.
My fear creeps in everyday as a military spouse. That certainly doesn’t mean that I am broken, weak, or lame. I think it means that I have so much love to give Sam that it sometimes oozes out in fear. I wonder every single day if Sam will be triggered at work. It can be difficult to hear other stories from Veterans, it can bring up bad memories, but I know that Sam genuinely loves working with Veterans. Fear or nerves kick in when I have to wonder if Sam has his medicine or if he remembered to take it before he left for work. I know that PTSD never really goes away, and I know that Sam has the tools to work through those moments when I worry, but there’s a small voice that sometimes says, “what if that doesn’t work?”I have moments that squash that fear, and that comes on Monday from time to time…being here with all of you and seeing Sam do work, that is joy. My heart swells with pride because while he is helping facilitate this group and work with all of you, he is working on himself, and the writing is so.good. I know the pain, the sacrifices he has made, the heartache, the challenges, but I also know that he’s not alone. His return home from three combat tours may not have been joyous, the sleepless nights may not have been happy, there’s stress and fear that creeps in, but knowing we have one another, a family, and a sweet dog (well, three actually), that is JOY. That is love, and that is what gets us through.
I think I look forward to Monday because the group challenges me to write and think about topics I normally wouldn’t even consider. I look forward to Monday because I am so proud of these Veterans and the obstacles they have overcome in six weeks—we have four weeks to go…I can’t wait to see what happens next.
