Mother’s Day is right around the corner. I have to admit, I’m not really prepared. I don’t have cards or gifts for my mother or mother-in-law yet. I don’t really know what I would like for Mother’s Day (if someone were to ask).
Why don’t I have these things done?
Life.
It is the end of the semester. I have a mound of papers to grade–they are just sitting on my coffee table. I have grades to put in my grade book. I need to clean up my office on campus. I should be writing more for a conference presentation. I should be doing laundry.
See a pattern there?
At times we get so consumed with our day to day activities that we really forget to just slow down and realize that if all the things don’t get accomplished in one day, it is okay.
Say it with me…”it is okay.”
I think all the mommas out there go through these emotions of wondering if they are doing enough, if their kids know how much they love them, if they know it is okay to make mistakes…trust me, I wonder about these things all the time.
A few years ago I was a single mom juggling graduate school and kids. I really felt like I had no social life other than seeing office mates, students, and other adults on campus. I did work early in the morning when my kids were still snoozing. I worked on papers, grading, and catching up on housework when the kids were sound asleep–and I wanted to be right there with them.
I took a laptop, charger, and a pile of books/papers to my daughter’s softball games. I would go out on a limb and say that a good chunk of my thesis was written all over the state at various ball parks. I would go sit in my car with the air on and read a novel for a class, take notes in the margins of the book, and then close my eyes for a few minutes (secretly hoping no one would see me napping in the car).
It was hard.
I wanted to quit.
I had a great support network, which, looking back now…saved me. My parents. LIFESAVERS. My kids. MOTIVATION. My friends. AMAZING. And throughout all of this I always had this doubt that would creep in telling me I wasn’t good enough, I wasn’t being a good mom, and I wasn’t doing things other moms did. I didn’t have meals packed away in my freezer. I didn’t bring all the good, healthy snacks to softball games. I didn’t sit with other parents. My kids didn’t have play dates often.
Instead, we had meals with grandma and grandpa. My kids had sleepovers with them when I had so much school work to do. My kids went to campus with me and entertained themselves in my office, made trips to the library, and often endured grad school right along with me.
That’s how I was mom-ing. And it worked.
Juggling all those things, I feel, gave my kids real life experiences. They saw it is okay to chase after your dreams. They learned how to work hard for what you want. They had precious moments with their grandparents that I longed for with mine.
However…I know that Mother’s Day is not a happy celebration for everyone. Maybe your relationship isn’t great with your mom, maybe your mom has passed away, or you have struggled with having kids. It can be tough, but think of the other things you can do: send a card to a mom, stay off social media, take care of yourself (treat yo self!), go to the spa, take a nice walk, go to a baseball game, even if you feel you are missing out, try to focus on the good, the happy, and give love.
I know that might seem easier said than done, but know that no matter what day it is you are loved. You can do amazing things. You can overcome obstacles in life. You can have a great support network that will love you and be there for you no matter what.
So, regardless if you love or hate Mother’s Day–just remember that there might be others out there who feel the same way. Be kind to everyone, no matter the day, the celebration, the holiday…everyone you meet is fighting a battle…you may never know what they are going through, so smile. Be kind. Be the good this world needs.
Also–shout out to my mom. Lord knows I gave her some grey hair over the years.
Family is everything, you guys. We sure are thankful for these folks right here. Amazing parents.