On Wednesday night, Sam and I decompress after my night class (I teach composition at our local community college), and I shared stories about my day with students. I was excited because he and Memphis came up in our class discussion. I was able to share a little information on service dogs with my students.
Tonight I told him that I mentioned to my night class that he has a service dog, and sometimes we encounter issues with businesses or establishments that aren’t aware of the access service dogs have with their owner/handler.
I also told him that people can ask really off the wall questions (because my students asked if anyone ever questions his dog being a real service dog and they also wondered if people asked what’s wrong with him) that can catch us off guard…one being, “what’s wrong with you?”
A student asked a really good question of me, which I wasn’t able to answer. She asked, “how does your husband handle situations in which people want to ask him about his disability?”
I’ve never been asked that. I think about it often, especially when I am reminded of this situation that Sam is going to tell you about.
When I asked Sam “how do you handle being asked about your disability?” this is what he had to say:
Sam: “When we were at the mall a man walked up to me. I feel like he had some type of military hat on or something. He was smiling real big at me, and I sort of knew a question or comment was coming. He pointed at Memphis and said, ‘why do you have him?’
Of course, what do I do? I stutter because it is a very uncomfortable question, and I said that he alerts me.”
Can you imagine being asked “what’s wrong with you?” or “why do you have that dog?”
Sam: “So, I didn’t really even want to say that. Because I felt like there would be more questions, it would be like going up to someone who can’t see and ask them if they are blind [because they have a seeing eye dog].”
Me: “Has anyone ever asked what’s wrong with you? Like, what’s your disability because you look fine?”
Sam: “No. But I think that people kind of ask what Memphis is for. They look at me oddly because I have all my limbs, I don’t have scars, I don’t have a visible injury. Or, they ask if I am training him or if he belongs to me. That’s a sign that they think nothing is wrong. I look perfectly fine, so I’m not saying they are hateful, but they look at me as fine, and they ask “are you are a trainer?”
One thing I learned from working with, talking with, and living with a Veteran is that not all wounds are visible. PTSD doesn’t leave a scar that one can see. TBI doesn’t appear to the public.
Another thing I learned is that you don’t ask, “what’s wrong with you?”
Education is so important, folks. I think as an educator, I feel as if my calling or my reason for being an advocate is to spread information that helps people understand the role service dogs play in the lives of Veterans.
Be kind…because you never know what kind of battle someone may be facing…
Don’t forget—you can still donate in honor of birthday gifts for several of our family members (this guy included)…please visit http://www.thisableveteran.org for more information on Donations. If you would like to provide a meal or two for Veterans who will be participating in the trauma resiliency class, you could purchase gift cards to eating establishments like McAlister’s Deli, Cracker Barrel, Logan’s, Bob Evans, Panera, Applebee’s, 17th Street Bar and Grill…or if you want to help the service dogs get some toys, a Petco gift card would be great! Any support would be greatly appreciated!
This is incredible!!