Change is not easy. Change is hard. In fact, there are people who are very resistant to change.
I know this because I witnessed it first hand.
I see it in our home when our daily routine is interrupted.
The world around us has changed, my friends. There have been a lot of changes going on in our nation, our state, our town, our communities, and our homes.
For people who are dependent on routine and “normalcy,” whatever that may be, that is hard.
The first big change (aside from all that COVID-19 Coronavirus stuff) was when I changed jobs. I guess I technically still have the same type of job, I am just at a different school.
When I took a full-time position in November, I did not expect an emotional and physical toll on myself or my family. It happened. I became aware that I was like a figure, a lingering presence in the home, and some days I just felt like a shadow. I had meetings that ran late, and with a commute, that did not help. I was getting home when my family was in bed or close to it.
Change was hard.
An opportunity came about for me to do the same type of job a lot closer to home. When I read the job description the first time I thought, “this is a sign.” I read it a second and by the third, I took a screenshot and sent it to Sam.
By now, I could say you know the rest of the story, but that change, making that first step, and taking a leap of faith for a new path, that was tough.
I made friends at my new school. I had worked very hard to establish a routine. I learned new things, accepted challenges, and learned that for some, change is just not a good thing. Change is bad, and that was tough for me.
I struggled. I kept thoughts to myself. I prayed. I worried. And then it just kind of hit me in the face.
You need to make a change and embrace it.
The way our lives are impacted by change can be big or small. For Sam, that change to full-time was a challenge. One he embraced but one he also struggled with. He was Mr. Mom, with a full-time job. He was the drop-off and pick up for daycare, he was the homework helper, the cook, the one who had all that responsibility and a whole lot more on his shoulders.
Because even with all of that there were still daily demons and weekly battles with PTSD, anxiety, depression, and sleepless nights.
Change can be good. A new routine was coming.
Then widespread panic, sickness, and yet another change.
For now, we adjust and adapt. This is not uncommon for someone who has been in the military. Our days are long, our dinners are full of conversation, and our daily routine has changed.
I wish I had some sage advice during these unprecedented times, but I do not.
I wish that I could say this change will be good. We’ve only been at it for a week and I think my kids are wondering when they can go to Target…
I do know that I am surrounded by people who love and support me, despite the change or chaos that may come with me.
And for now, that is our new normal.
